Saturday, April 19, 2014

Knowing When and How to Let Go

Change comes from putting aside old or outdated perceptions, memories, or beliefs and learning a new way to live with life experiences. It often takes giving something up. This is a universal principle and the reason for ceremonies and rituals. They help us to bridge the gap between the physical world which demands our attention and the spiritual one that quietly influences the material one.

My neighbor’s 80 year old father died on Friday evening. They called a family member with a car and carried the father’s body to the funeral home. They bought a coffin. Afterwards the members of the family washed and dressed the body and placed it in the coffin to be returned home. In this beach community of Honduras, it is the custom for the casket to sit open for viewing in the living room of the family home. This allows neighbors and friends to visit and say their final farewells.

The family prepared food, along with that donated by neighbors, for the guests. Everyone pulled together to help the family process through this transition. In the meanwhile, adult male members of the family went out to the cemetery to dig the grave and build a concrete crypt. All this effort of preparation is actually quite healing and offers neighbors and friends an opportunity to assist the deceased person one last time. When it is time to go to the cemetery the community walks behind a van or pickup that carries the coffin to its final home. 

The family rode with the body of their father. The coffin was placed on a prepared stand at the entrance of the cemetery for words and song. This were the family says its farewell. As they all gathered around the coffin with tear-filled eyes and bowed heads, the oldest daughter pushed forward with cries of anguish, throwing herself across the coffin. From deep within her chest came sobbing words of goodbye for her papa. I had heard of dramatic displays at funerals but this was the first time I had witnessed one. Her wailing, tears, and hanging to the coffin continued until the box was gently lowered into the ground. 

Her 3 children, faces wet and tear stained, were standing next to her. They all watched the closing of the crypt just before sunset. The woman wiped her eyes and the faces of her children. She told them that it was time to return to the house, take a shower and change their clothes. They needed to take care of grandmother. That was it. The woman knew she had done the best she knew how to do. She turned her back on the cemetery and walked with her children back to their home. It was time to look to the future.

hamster photo courtesy of New Yorker digital

cemetery photo from my personal collection


Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Creating Change from Self-talk

What does self-talk have to do with change? It can promote it or stall it. If you are not changing, stagnation occurs.  Healing is a form of change just as growth is change. Yet all of it needs input from the mind. You might think that these happen automatically, but consider a condition called Failure to Strive or how some do not recover from an accepted medication or surgery. The mind has been negatively influencing the body.  Stagnation in relationships or personal issues is the most common form. This blocking of energy can cause many health problems.  However, all the answers we need exist within us.
I mentioned in an earlier blog article that I was enrolling in a 30-day writing course. The program uses the term ‘Divine Dialoging’.  This is a form of positive self-talk with your innermost feelings.  I have used this self-awareness in my healing practice for almost 20 years so it was nothing new. What would be new was the starting point and direction this exercise would lead me. Today I was going to talk to a couple of my chakras.
The (1st) red chakra at the base of the spine, is related to family, tribe, and grounded life principles. The (2nd) orange chakra is found at the sacral center just below the navel. It is related to the feminine, water, desires and creativity. This was the information I had when I entered a state of quiet meditation to ask my questions.

RED: Using a red veil from India I sat and began my countdown to relax. I was just giving my attention to the color of the veil when a red dragon jumped into my mind.  I have been told that dragons represent protection and so I asked if it was there to protect me. It replied, “I am aggression.”
Me- But why do I need aggression?
Dragon(D)- you are returning to the seat of family.
Me- but why aggression?
D- It helps you stand your ground.
Me-Isn’t there another way?
D- Stay away
Me- how can this be handled for my Highest Good or Becoming?
D- Send heart healing energy (green) into the discourse. The color green calms red.

This insight re- awakened the realization that conflict requires more than one person. If I do not play there is no game. Over the years I have taught others to use heart energy to heal relationship problems but the closer we are to the problem the more difficult it is to use reason. I liked that hurts could be effectively healed at any distance…it just needs to begin in MY heart.

ORANGE: Orange was never my favorite color. Crayola could have left it out of the box if it weren’t for my love of apricots, cream-sickles and navel oranges. It is only since my mother passed away in 2005 that the color began creeping into my life. As this realization came, knowledge that I had of the chakra began to make more sense. It is about feminine energy and authority females.  Quieting my mind to move into the 2nd chakra took a bit more time than did the red, but finally an orange color appeared. Out of it sprang yellow then hints of red before bursting into flaming wings. I asked if this was a Phoenix rising but the response came: “Girl on Fire,” from the Hunger Games. 

Me- Why a girl with flaming wings?
She- It is your potential.
Me- Do I know I have this potential?
She- “Understated”
Me- I want to realize it; what you I need to do?
She- grab it.
Me- How?
The response came as an image. It was a little girl on a carousel horse grabbing the brass ring.    
I learned that my reluctance ‘to be’ keeps me from my desires. I also realized that just holding and affirming the image of the little girl on the carousel ride would eliminate that reluctance.
Now I can focus on YELLOW.